Friday, May 27, 2016

Battling Demons

Some people were just not meant to be in your life. After a trying to be friends with a certain person three times, I finally realize she isn't a real friend. Sad, but true. The pain doesn't effect me, but the hatred runs deep. She messed with the wrong person. She will pay one way or another. I'm at the point in my life where my sanity isn't really there. Well, for people it's more of a fuck off thing insanity. She was a roommate of Jacob and I for a little bit. Soon to find out she didn't go by the rules for the house, rarely cleaned, didn't take care of her dog she threw a fit over, and didn't pay the bills of utilities she agreed to pay on when she finally got a job. She left us out of no where; running back to her grandparents. Technically that day she left she was suppose to be at work. She refused to pay cable and gas, so we said whatever. Just recently we got in the mail the electric bill, she was suppose to pay. Well, I went off on her and I end up getting a call from her mother calling me. So the ex roommate decided not to be an adult and have her mother fight her battles for her. After a lot of bullshit out of her mothers mouth Jacob shut that shit down. Then later that night the ex roommate prove to be just as ignorant and stupid as the one who gave birth to her. She will be a person who will always be a child letting other people fix her problems for her, causing trouble, and will stab you in the back. Also she claims a cable bill isn't a utility bill. So any opinions on that stupidity?
Hey, good news is we got a true friend of Jacob's for 13 years and his cousin moving in with us :) there maybe bumps in the road but Jacob and I together will accomplish anything. To be honest my anxiety and crazy thoughts may drive me off  the deep in at times but I have to admit Jacob is always there to put a smile on my face. Once things get into  rhythm we should be okay. Even if Jacob's tumor hurting him we will fight through this. 

Last Sunday I had a horrible break down. I was sitting there watching the beautiful view of the forest and paintball courses. Jacob comes out asking why I was out here by myself. Finally the tears fell. He comforted me about my insecurities. Jacob let me know I'm not alone and he will always be there for me no matter what the issue is. The fact for the longest time I really was by myself. I didn't talk to anyone about anything. I did a lot of things by myself because I didn't want to burden any one. Now I have actual friends who want to see Jacob and I married or they will beat him up lol I have family who care and love me. Jacob proclaimed, "Even a warrior needs some help at times." I don't know what I wouldn't do with out him. There was a moment where we announced to each other that if one of us died the both of us were dead. Romeo and Juliet to the core. Except making more sense and been together WAAAAYYY longer. A year and eight months of being with Jacob. Now I can wake up to the lovely turd. He is soooo cute when asleep. The other day he cuddled with my teddy bear...he said "I thought it was you" lol which him cuddling with me while I'm asleep is comforting. 

The other day at work I saw my ex-boyfriend. The awkward glaces will probably never end. He was the first serious relationship that meant the world to me. The feelings for him will be dull but the memories will never fade. I'm glad he did break up with me. He is and was a child. Plus he gave me the opportunity to find the true man to hold my heart. Jacob!  

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