Well I'm suppose to do Agar Science project, but I can't print it off in the class room that we cook in. I can't use the other teacher's paper....ugh. I hate my nightmares to be honest. I suppose every does, huh? Sleepless nights come and go, which causes me to actually fall asleep in class. Good thing it's senior year because I already took all my recommended and core classes. Those few times I ended up falling asleep in Jacob's arms even bad dreams could be vanished in the matter of seconds.
The other day I went over to Jacob's house; his best friend, his cousin, and Jacob all decided to headbutt each others heads.....gawd, could I not stop smiling at how ridiculous they were all being but they were my family at heart. I can't wait to get my own house! Us girls in the bedroom gossiping and laughing while the boys be in the front room yelling at each other because of video games. I could actually have friends over without a hassle or have them come over just in general. I wouldn't have to put up with Mother's rude comments or bitchiness. Sure I would have bills to pay and having to buy groceries, but with the help of Jacob and friends we can do this. I trust in them to help out financially and fundamentally.
Right now I'm slowly paying off medical bills, but thank god to being under my Father's insurance. It paid for most of the cost expenses. Once Jacob puts a ring on it *Smiles and blushes uncontrollably* I would be on his insurance. He mentioned it yesterday to me and I just hugged him while burying my face in his chest. I really don't mean to talk all the time about Jacob but he is just my happy pill that relaxes me on those stressful days.
I realize I'm just lazy most of the time. Putting on makeup to really trying to understand math is pretty much laziness. I'm understanding math to a certain point, but then I'm lost when nothing is explained to me. Having to work sometimes does get in the way, but right now needing money is more important. To also do my taxes costs a big sum of cash....hopefully he will give me a break because I don't have joint taxes and I work part time. Braums is probably the best restaurant place to work at in Carthage. I love my managers...including the one who got promoted to a higher rank and had to transfer. That sadden all of us. working with the girls or having Brad come back was awesome! Sometimes it can be stressful but in all it's a nice place to work at. In March it would be a year of working at Braums.
I have been writing more in my dairy lately too...back to the good old expressing myself that way. I have a few stories I have written, so I will post them. Probably not this week because it consist of work and doing my taxes....OH YAY! *Major Sarcasm*Probably sometimes next week I will post one of them or both.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
BlissWhere do I start....I guess you could say my life is like a crazy, romantic story. It's so hard to write simple stories because it doesn't seep out on paper, but I live it every day. The blushing smile in the middle of a boring class or the constant insults from my step-mother is a typical day for me. So much has happen to me drastically over this past year. In the end I know I have family who cares for me dearly; that includes my Boo, Jacob Farmer.
Jacob has been there from the very beginning, even on my worse days. Because of him I have learned to love myself more and trust again. That moment he kissed me with such a funny and sweet personality was when I fell in love with him. Jacob always says, "If someone hurts you all hell will break loose." I slowly opened myself to him, but him, he was willing to tell me practically anything. I wasn't use to any of that. This was all new to me and still is new. Such romantic verses told to me in such ways it had me in tears. Someone actually cares for me of who I am and all my imperfections.
Not to long ago extreme abdomen pain consumed me. Nothing was curing such a horrible problem. Soon a trip to the hospital was needed as dad drove me to Carthage local hospital. Several times I passed out because I couldn't tolerate the pain. The doctor came in after the cats scan to announce my appendix is severally inflamed. Unfamiliar faces surround me in lifting me into a ambulance. Fear burned itself into my cool flesh. My eyes were stuck closed but waking up sore, scared, and in pain had everyone concerned.
That night a tall, toned, man with dirty blonde curls and blue eyes walks into my room. It hurt to speak, but seeing Jacob gave me comfort and peace at mind. The nurse came in saying I need to walk around so I can get better. I take Jacob's arm in both of my hands for balance. Walking to the end of the hall, my breathe was shallow and my legs felt they would fall off. Getting back in bed tears fell onto my flushed checks.
With a rough thumb Jacob wipe them away saying in a shaky voice, "I love you so much and was so afraid of loosing you."
With those words in my foggy mind sleep prevailed. All in all Jacob is an amazing boyfriend who doesn't like to see me cry. He will do everything and anything to make me laugh and smile. Sure we have our fights and agreements, but in the end we love each other and that's all that matters. Jacob gave me a little quote that states, "Best Relationship: talk like best friends, play like children, argue like husband and wife, protect each other like brother and sister." That is so true for us because I remember the time we goofed off in Wal-Mart and played caught with the balls.
I believe Jacob is a keeper. I can honestly say I'm happy and blessed to have him in my life. I wouldn't mind getting married and having kids with him. Kids defiantly in future though, not now. Even when I thought about going to college, I thought about find that perfect person who would love me how Jacob does. Perhaps that was always my ultimate goal in life besides college, was to find my love and have a family. Even as a child I dreamed of those things happening to me.
Jacob isn't my only happy place in the world, but also my family. Saturday when I went to go see Blackcat at the movies with Big Brother, Dad, and Little Sis had me smiling uncontrollably. Sis over there saying Jacob is an alien...*rolls eyes* during a make out scene Dad and Brother teasing me not to look. The funny conversations or the theories we come up with are so interesting to listen to.
The time I slept over at my older sister's house. My niece and little nephew making me laugh as "zombies" we had to run from. The deep conversations I have with them that always has support behind me. Even my other older sister has welcoming warming arms willing to help me out when I need to. My loving Aunt who doesn't mind staying up late when I feel really down and want to talk. My older sister who lives in Arkansas also plays a big role in my life as she and I share similar feelings and situations. Plus she understands how important Jacob is to me.
I can't forget my friends. Sometimes they can be a pain in my ass but at the end of the day they are there for me. How my friend Micheal decides to put a penis hat on in Spencers had me falling over in laughter. Or girl nights with my best friends Jayme and Madisson where we talk on and on. During school my group of unique friends who have the weirdest conversations that even has me questioning things. I love them all and they love me.