Blissful Forest

My nerves twist and turn as I sat down in Red Onion Cafee in Joplin MO. My chestnut hair in perfect curls that bounce into my sparkled hazel eyes. My silver dress light up as the bright sun reflected on it. I became a bit sweaty as he took out my galaxy s3 out.

"Do you want your surprise now or later?" Jacob's deep voice asked promptly.

I wouldn't be able to eat properly if I waited any longer. A soft voice said, "Yes."

Jacob in his black tux and slacks while his hair slick back a little; he pushes the play button on my phone. Endlessly by the cab started to echo the cafee as he sang a long with it. Mid way in the song he asked me to stand in front of him. Jacob got on one knee, looked up at my teary eyes, and asked, "Will you marry me?"

My heart pounded in my chest about ready to burst. Of course I agreed upon being with him the rest of my life. His the one person I go to when I'm upset or depressed. He is my support, my best friend, my love, my everything. Jacob had been there since day one and will be with me until I die. Jacob has seen my worse and my best. Jacob has stopped me from ending my own life and has calmed my anxiety. He is my guardian angel sent to care and protect me.

I look over to see my older sister Stephanie, taking pictures and video of the beautiful bliss that just happened. She comes over in casual clothes in tears. My sisters hugs where strong and graceful. She has helped me with my hair, makeup and being the rock that supported Jacob and I. I greatly appreciate what she has done for us and what she plans on doing.

The colors of the wedding will be red and black. I know not your typical wedding but one that fits Jacob and I of who we are. The Theme is Adam's Family where true love between  Gomez and Morticia bloom. It will be in our favorite place in the whole world Glena, MO. Gorgeous place where nature is everywhere you go. Also where Jacob's family lives and will help with the wedding.

Now to tell you guys about my recent update on life! Through hell of fixing the plumming in the house, depression, and being broke I finally and starting to move on in life. A long process of two days and I'm starting classes Monday at EGS! I'm so excited! Finally getting a desk job that pays amazing along with great insurance. I also got to pick my hours and days I wanted to work which never happens in the working industries, but I got super lucky. I worked so hard getting a new job that fit what I wanted; only to get exactly what I wanted. Now classes will be early in the morning which will be difficult for me but I will do my best and work as hard as I can. I have to work hard for not only my sake, but for Jacob's. I have a reliable Ford Fusion car and getting FDS to help pay for gas and food Jacob and I will be able to finally live comfortably. Once I get everything paid off and get myself good credit, then the process of buying the things we want in life. I ready to walk through that door leading to my future.

Dancing With The Stars

Hey, guys! I'm going to put up a story idea up here to see what y'all think. I hope you enjoy it. I want all the feed back as I can :) story ideas, pros, cons, and any thing you can think of to improve the story. Here you guys go:

BACKGROUND

Nova blare, a young brilliant woman lost in a world of chaos and sorrows, is just now starting to blossom into a warrior. Soon she will have a guardian bound to keep her alive for the soul purpose of her unique ability to see into the future. Ever since she was little Nova was hunted down to use as a

weapon. In this unfortunate matter Nova's parents were brutally murdered in front her as a child. An old man, Edric, took Nova under his wing. Edric didn't allow Nova to dabber into any Zinf warrior training, but does teach her how to control her dream walking.

Zinfs have always been the guardians of the Earthlings. They protect them from the bad creatures whose pour soul got devoured by the darkness. The protection is also to keep the Devourers from slaughtering the Earthlings by the billions.

 One particular person, Lavinia, The leader of the Devourers, wants to take over the Earthlings and Zinfs. She is cruel person destroying anything that gets in her way to possessing Nova. Her right hand man, Xander, is willing to do anything to please his master. So Xander is on a hunt to slave Nova, but will he fall for her caring and brilliant nature? Will her guardian be able to protect her?

Chapter 1

My long, dark, amber hair tickles my round nose. The navy, blue dress I wore sways with the blissful breeze passing by. Normally I always go barefoot around in the peaceful woods, but for today it is a bit chilly. Looking down on my minuscule hands, the thoughts of scarlet blood oozed on the tile floor.

 

Glancing over I witness a small winged creature floating in the air. Multiple of colors glows around it. I squint my green eyes only to notice for a split second they were Nightmares. My world fades into darkness. Peaking from under the curtain sink my mothers and fathers pale, bloody body lay on the kitchen floor lifeless. Massive, red, skinned men with horns, threw things everywhere. They searched every inch. The gross aroma had me gag, but soon as they heard me I was lurched forward onto my cold parents. Tears fell upon my flushed checks. The Large hand arose to strike down upon me, but before any pain could have been inflicted at the back door busted open. I shut my eyes tight with trembling terror.

Ringing in my ears had my world become dizzy. I felt the thuds as each Devourer hit the floor. I can't take this! Please make it stop! I finally gazed down at my wet bloody hands. This is my fault....why? Why couldn't they have killed me instead?

"Nova! Nova! Nova wake up!" A deep raspy voice yells.

I blink several times to get my vision back into view. The ugly Nightmares scatter about in their own pool of blood. When their illusionist powers were gone you can see that their brown, wrinkly skin held lack of color. The one eye they have glazes over of white.

"Nova, you okay?" Danar, my guardian, asks in concern.

"I...I...No I'm not." I cry out as I hug his muscular chest.

For my height I come to his chest. Danar's chiseled arms and legs built to take on hordes of enemies to protect me from all evil. I wrap my arms around him in the comfort of his warmth. Sobs and snot seep onto Danars raggedy grey t-shirt. Danar for some ungodly reason still decides to wear ripped jeans. My grip tightens when he tries to pry me from himself.

"Nova, we must go back home now. The Nightmares were in Zinf territory, which is of concern for our people and you. I will carry you on my back if I need to." Danar states sternly.

I wipe my face on my arm before speaking, "No. I will walk on my own. I may cry, but I'm not a child."

Danar gives me a smirk as we start to head back to town and said, "Nova, sometimes you are a child...with your height and all."

I gave him a death glare to shut up or I would beat you up look. Then again all he has to do is sit on me and the fight would be over. We both laughed the horrors away the best we could.  

Battling Demons

Some people were just not meant to be in your life. After a trying to be friends with a certain person three times, I finally realize she isn't a real friend. Sad, but true. The pain doesn't effect me, but the hatred runs deep. She messed with the wrong person. She will pay one way or another. I'm at the point in my life where my sanity isn't really there. Well, for people it's more of a fuck off thing insanity. She was a roommate of Jacob and I for a little bit. Soon to find out she didn't go by the rules for the house, rarely cleaned, didn't take care of her dog she threw a fit over, and didn't pay the bills of utilities she agreed to pay on when she finally got a job. She left us out of no where; running back to her grandparents. Technically that day she left she was suppose to be at work. She refused to pay cable and gas, so we said whatever. Just recently we got in the mail the electric bill, she was suppose to pay. Well, I went off on her and I end up getting a call from her mother calling me. So the ex roommate decided not to be an adult and have her mother fight her battles for her. After a lot of bullshit out of her mothers mouth Jacob shut that shit down. Then later that night the ex roommate prove to be just as ignorant and stupid as the one who gave birth to her. She will be a person who will always be a child letting other people fix her problems for her, causing trouble, and will stab you in the back. Also she claims a cable bill isn't a utility bill. So any opinions on that stupidity?

Hey, good news is we got a true friend of Jacob's for 13 years and his cousin moving in with us :) there maybe bumps in the road but Jacob and I together will accomplish anything. To be honest my anxiety and crazy thoughts may drive me off  the deep in at times but I have to admit Jacob is always there to put a smile on my face. Once things get into  rhythm we should be okay. Even if Jacob's tumor hurting him we will fight through this. 

Last Sunday I had a horrible break down. I was sitting there watching the beautiful view of the forest and paintball courses. Jacob comes out asking why I was out here by myself. Finally the tears fell. He comforted me about my insecurities. Jacob let me know I'm not alone and he will always be there for me no matter what the issue is. The fact for the longest time I really was by myself. I didn't talk to anyone about anything. I did a lot of things by myself because I didn't want to burden any one. Now I have actual friends who want to see Jacob and I married or they will beat him up lol I have family who care and love me. Jacob proclaimed, "Even a warrior needs some help at times." I don't know what I wouldn't do with out him. There was a moment where we announced to each other that if one of us died the both of us were dead. Romeo and Juliet to the core. Except making more sense and been together WAAAAYYY longer. A year and eight months of being with Jacob. Now I can wake up to the lovely turd. He is soooo cute when asleep. The other day he cuddled with my teddy bear...he said "I thought it was you" lol which him cuddling with me while I'm asleep is comforting. 

The other day at work I saw my ex-boyfriend. The awkward glaces will probably never end. He was the first serious relationship that meant the world to me. The feelings for him will be dull but the memories will never fade. I'm glad he did break up with me. He is and was a child. Plus he gave me the opportunity to find the true man to hold my heart. Jacob!  

Dying Star

My heart racing with excitement to finally have a place of my own. The boxes to unload and the arrangement of furniture was a major task. Once things got settle down what I wanted to see happen drastically changed. I seen a side to Jacob that most people wouldn't get the chance to witness. Sleepless nights of the cascading tears that gently speak the pain. Doubts mangle my thoughts as I try processing all new events. Taking on hypocritical people, the relationship that grasps my heart, and the merciless souls who are the head of Butterball. Emotionally and physically I have been drained of my energy.

Jacob taking on the whole world for me is a sweet gentleman who loves me for who I am. Fixing things around the house, cleaning, and general labor to help me. Then there is his personal view of relationship. My stomach twists and turns with thoughts that should have killed me by now. I still hold on for I love him. Jacob takes care of me, spoils me, loves me with all my flaws. I won't find a man like him. We don't break up over fights or situations that seem impossible. We work them out the best we can. For those who understand the concept of compassion and following
your heart, do please apprehend to know Jacob is an amazing guy who I will spend the rest of my life with, no matter the situations we are. We will figure things out and be there for each other. 

I guess its sad to say my step family doesn't really feel like family any more to me. I feel as if I'm an outsider watching through the windows. They are hypocritical over my injures and my health issues. They think I should be able to handle a simply wound right? Well, having my chest tighten to where i can't move or even breath properly is such a simple would. Having two slit discs in my back which causes my who spine to pop at odd moments is a simple would. Pulled muscle from lifting 20-40 lbs bags of skin, up and over into a tote that comes to my shoulders, is such an easy wound. Guess what none of that is fucking easy. I'm in fucking tears, heaving over trying not to throw my guts up. It angers me to the extent of wanting to strangle people for they are being so fucking stupid. They say one thing damn well knowing they have had been hospitals to where its a life threatening situation. What gives you the right to judge me like that???? NOTHING! 

Now, for the malicious people who keep screwing us over. They drag us through dirt, shit, blood, sweat, and tears. Many adore me as their own, but I can't keep pushing myself like this. My chest pains are coming back. The long hours make a shit ton of money, although its not worth having the head of the company bash us down and not caring of our health. They are ignorant,selfish bastards. Jacob and may have to look for different jobs. 

Right now Jacob's chest is getting worse. The tumor is causing more pain. It may be from stress or its spreading. We don't have a clue. We go see his doctor Tuesday. It terrifies me to know that this can potentially kill him. I love him so much and wouldn't ever want him to be hurting like this. It scares me to see him cringe in pain while he griped his chest. I'm here watching over him until Tuesday. No one can actually know this besides our roommate and my bestie Madi.  

I hope there is a happy ending for Jacob and I. To finally feel free of all the bills, work that is blood thirsty to get us hurt, and to finally feel happy with what we are doing.  

Anxiety: The Monster Within

The blood rushing to your head while your heart beat screams out your ears. The stomach twists and turns into panic.The images of your love ones falling or the taunting voices that criticize everything you do. You start to questioning yourself and what your capable of doing. Tears of fear and pain in a pool of shame.

Anxiety isn't a game; it's real for us. Even the little things trigger the most horrifying panic attacks. For me I've been battling for a while of anxiety. Monday, I had Jacob's supervisor zoom by with a wheel chair. My eyes following intently of where he was trailing off to. I could feel my chest tighten while my body went cold. My co-worker, who looks over me as her daughter, goes to investigate the matter. She comes back to let me know it was only a green hat who had past out. Relief filled every aching nerve. Once break came about, I just held onto Jacob and cried. I let all my fears and sadness fall with each tear that was shed that day. 

The reason I freaked out so bad is Jacob once needed to be wheel chaired away, for, his chest had collapsed in on itself. His chest had paralyzed any movement he could make. Then, they sent him to hospital to be checked out. Any time that line ever stopped my heart would stop thinking Jacob got hurt again. But luckily they moved to another job so he wouldn't get hurt any more. 

It use to be way worse than what it is now. I would stay up in my room; staring at the ceiling. Sleepless nights carried me into nightmarish days. Criticism from others demolished my own self esteem. I tried reckless methods to fill my empty void of doom. Alcohol, weed, and the blood that dripped from my wrist were clouding my judgement. Things became much worse for me. Late nights out parting. I thought the being on the edge was fun; the fear driven me mad. 

One special someone has shown me the light. He was patient, gentle, and a caring gentleman who watched me over with a protecting eye. Jacob Farmer you don't know how much you truly have brought me happiness. I love you to the moon and back. Jacob has put his heart into loving me the way he does. The compassion wrapped around his heart shows me gratitude of a strong man he is. 

We all have our demons to fight. You make the choice to hold on or to let go. Things can get rough, but find a light and grasp it as tight as you can. Things do get better with time and patients. I had to climb several obstacles to even get to the top. Please, understand Anxiety isn't game! It can consume us all in the matter of seconds. I believe in you all to climb this mountain with me; to become outstanding people.  

Piercing Flame of a Bleeding tears

Tears of blood stream down my face. Each painful step is closer to falling off the cliff. My long scarlet hair drapes over my hazel eyes. Breathing in the stale air burns my nose and lungs. How did I get here? I don't want to be here. It would be so much easier to disappear from this world. Peering over the jagged edge all that lay in front of me is a sea of shadows mocking and stares of disappointment. Every inch of my muscles jerked me forward in a jolt. Blackness consumes the very light I held so dear.

Well, that's how I have been feeling lately. Thinking of taking a whole bunch of pills so I could fall asleep and never wake up. I just don't want to struggle so much or to feel so much pain. Heaving over a toilet, having my lungs want to burst into a million pieces, and every muscle in my body ache. Since August I've been hurting because of an ulcer but now the past three weeks a sever cough has arisen. I cough so hard my throat swells and I throw up.

Also work has me in a tangle of all sorts. From the new policy that surely is not only going to have me fired but many more. Putting Jacob out of work for another week. They will burn. They will pay for hurting us. I can't tell you guys just yet of how, but trust me they will all go up in a blazing flame.

I heard my heart beat in ear so loudly, I surely thought everyone else could feel the earth shake. Soon as his eye met mine, I knew I may possibly be in danger. A guy I thought I could trust who shattered all of that and more with in one day. The physical and mental pain I once felt seeps out of every nerve. My body became frozen in place. I contacted Jacob once I got out of work with sobs. My hands shake as I grip the steering wheel. It wasn't until I got home when he hugs me and kisses my forhead trying to resure me if he even talks to me he will hurt him.

Finding some stuff out tonight going to my Besties Pagan party. There may be some stuff going on with my brothers and their wives....Also their life style. Won't get into it to much. All I can say I get a bad feeling. To the card reading, sure it sounded accurate as fuck, I make my own path and I sure as hell will fight back the best the can. I may feel down, but that's not going to stop me. My big brother, Georgie, taught me better. "Don't run from your problems. You have to face them to ever have resolved the problem." As long as my lovie, Jacob, is next to me I can do anything.

Life is fucking me over and I tell you, "Fuck yourself! I'm tired of this bullshit!" I will not lose to such a scum hanging over me like a shadow.

The Adventures of Melissa!

Tuesday towards the end of work I had a sever cough spell. A sharp pain stab me in the chest. I couldn't go to work yesterday and today. The doctor said I still have a lot of inflammation in my chest and throat. Today I feel much better with a happiness that lingers in the air. I just hope I'll be able to see my Lovie tonight. they had a lot of birds today, along with Huntsvilles small birds.

Realizing on my way home from applying an application from Neovox, a call center, that perhaps the office jobs aren't for a person like me. Sure I would actually enjoy my job, but for a person who pays more bills than necessary and loves to see my Lovie at work it just isn't for me. I called Jacob on break and told him about my day. He told me he would miss me and loves to see me at work. I have to admit that it's very adorable and heart warming knowing that Jacob enjoys my presents at work.

Today when I went to the library, I bent down to grab change from cup holder, only to hear a whistle. I look behind me to see a man around the age 60 tells me I look hot and asks me if I had a boyfriend. He then proceeded to ask me to come to his car. That's when I went into the library to print off my resumes. When I was walking back to my car the man gets out of his car and apologizes for saying those things. My car and I left in a flash. Calling Jacob on first break, he said he wanted to beat a bitch.

Eventually my Bestie, Madi, text me to hang out. I said why not! So I went to Sarcoxie library and then her house to talk hours to caught up on life. It's good to have girl time.

well now to the Galena, Mo, trip! Jacob's aunt sent us an invitation to their fall festival they are hosting. We couldn't resist such an amazing opportunity to a beautiful place. Jacob and I ended up taking his cousin, Clayton, with us. Reminder, the roads are so curvy and hilly it drives me nuts! On our way there this car followed us for the longest time causing Clayton to become paranoid and want to kick some ass. Then Jacob got into the kicking ass conversation, which made my nerves a bit less on the edge, for it made me laugh.

Arriving in a small, unique, Kimberling City had my mind blown away. we spent the next two nights at a large hotel that was on the bay of Tablerock lake. They had, a hot tub, a pool with lights, and a astonishing view of Tablerock Lake. The room we were staying in was also spectacular. Marble countertops, soft full sized beds, refrigerator, tv with actual cable, and many other nice qualities to our room.

That Saturday we went to the fall festival Jacob's aunt was hosting. It surely felt like high school all over. The drama and girls spitting fire was an understatement. Clayton swooned many girls, including Jacob's niece, Hailey. Jacob then threaten to brutally beat the shit out of Clayton, which made everything much more funnier. His little niece Myia is so cute, for being I think 7 or 9. She likes to hold both Jacob's hand and mine as we walk down a brick bridge. Saying she would love for us to be her parents. SO CUTE!

The next day on our way back home we met his other aunt, Brenda Minton, and his two nieces and nephew. Previously before this I had already contacted Brenda, for the fact she is a professional author who has written her own books.

Her website is this: http://brendaminton.net/

Talking to her of her busy life with the kids and her books. She actually has a group of people she works with. It's like saying The House of Night Series has two authors who wrote the book. I have yet to read the books because I'm currently reading the Hush Hush series, watching Fairytail series with Lovie, being sick, sleeping, and working. The main reason is Fairytail series is just so good!

Back to Brenda! Eventually we had to leave, for work was the next day. Gawd, the drive back home was so exhausting. I didn't want the dream to end. I didn't want to go back home. It sadden me to leave such a peaceful place that could so inspire me to write a novel.

Recently Jacob and I have been hanging out with Chandler, Leo, and their lovers. Well, it was Chandler, Leo, Kiel (Chandler's boyfriend), and I shooting Jacob's bb gun. Jacob thought he shot all the bullets out the barrel but with a shocking look on all our faces, Jacob accidently shot Kiel in the stomach. Laughter bellowed from all of us as Kiel becomes dramatic with the small flesh wound. It didn't go deep at all but it bruised badly.

Death's Door

It has been pretty rough lately. Turkey season just started as I was cutting the skin of the turkey. One of the cleaning guys comes up to me asking me what happened to Jacob. My eyebrows narrowed down the man in questioning. My dear friend and co-worker Mary, told me to go, so I went up to the supervisors of Jacob's, asking what happened.

"Jacob was wheel chaired to the nurses office. He was holding his side saying it was hurting." The supervisor spat out.

My heart pounding with each step I rushed to the nurses. Soon enough, Jacob was sitting there grabbing his side and having a tough time taking deep breaths. I helped him to get outside and into his mother's car. That day was so miserable and long. almost a twelve hour shift while my Lovie was at Mercy Hospital in Joplin Mo.

I went home to Jacob to find him okay, but still in slight pain. By that time my back and chest were killing me. The coughing that was just a mild annoyance had become a horse bark every five minutes or so. I had fallen asleep to the tv and pain medicine the doctor had prescribed to me. About five in the morning my chest burned with each breath I took. I  woke up Jacob in a panic and trying my hardest to take in any air I could.

Jacob hugged me while sitting me up. Eventually Jacob calmed me to sleep, only for him to put his finger under my nose to make sure I was still breathing. When waking up for work I could barely manage to speak words without coughing. Jacob told me to stay laying and took my phone. He came back to tell me my dad is on his way to take me to hospital. The thought sent me over board. I freaked out so badly, I started to heave, cough while tears streamed down my cheeks.

Jacob wipes away my tears saying, "Please don't cry. I know its difficult and you're scared but I don't want to see you in pain like this."

Moving around made my muscles cringe. The hospital time took forever while needles had me feel dizzy. Eventually after being there for three hours, they told me I had my throat swollen and Bronchitis. Jacob ended up having sever inflammation between the ribs.

This week has been filled with struggle to get better, how we are going to pay for this stuff, watching Fairytail, and sleeping. It has just been rough for the both of us. We both go back tomorrow to make money. Good thing is our insurance is amazingly good.

My next blog post will be more entertaining and on the positive. I'll be talking about a second trip to Galena, Mo, and Jacob accidently shooting his friends boyfriend in the gut with his bb gun :p Now for me to go eat!

Crown of Thorns

Where do I even start....bad news first. Tuesday night Jacob and I was watching the Divergent movies. Laying down the pain wasn't so bad, but once I stood up to go home it hit me hard. My chest and upper part of my stomach was so tight it hurt to move around. A small drizzle of tears turns into a pour down. Jacob and his mom were very much concern for they insisted I go to the hospital. Fear started to take over as my body starts to shake intensely.

I glace over to Jacob crying out, "I'm scared!"

At this point everything started to hurt. Jacob as gently as he could picks me up and carries me to my fathers white ford truck. Jacob is in the back seat soothing me the best he could. Jacob ended up also carrying me into the hospital. Any time Jacob couldn't be with me made him upset and furious. He would follow me like a lost puppy if they would let him.

After blood was taken, hooking me up to a million wires, and put blood pressure stuff on me, Jacob and my dad was able to come in. Jacob sat down next to me wh
ile taking my hand. Dad had to leave to go pick up my brother from work. The most terrifying part was having to get a shot in the butt cheek. Drawing blood is alright because it doesn't hurt much but putting it in the muscle, I know I wouldn't be able to sit or walk around a bit. Jacob squeezed my hand while trying to my attention on him. It helped a little.

The shot along with the medicines they gave me the chest pain reduced to a three. My butt cheek hurt more and I was exhausted. By 3:30 A.M Jacob and I left in his mom's car. Wednesday late in the afternoon, finally after two hours in doctors office, I found out I have Gastric Disease.....lovely. I basically have to go on a diet. I have to reduce fats and dairy. No spicy food whats so ever. Yesterday Jacob and I went to Walmart and bought a bunch of healthy food for me to eat. This is going to be very difficult for me. I enjoy spicy, fatty, and dairy foods sooo much. Now it's basically harming me in the most painful way ever. Jacob has been helping in saying no to a lot of stuff I really want.

If any one is wondering why did I name the title Crown of Thorns? Well, the plant Crown of Thorns has beautiful flowers on top while the stems have sharp thorns protruding from it. This symbolizes how my life can have those beautiful moments and the difficult times, but still be an extraordinary plant or for me an extraordinary person. Now, for some fun.

Several weekends ago Jacob and I head up to Glena Missouri. Yes, there is a Glena Missouri and no, it's not Glena Kansas. People always ask and get very confused, so I figure I would explain. The reason for heading down there was to visit his family. I'm like an old granny when I drive in areas that have twists and turns or roads I have no clue of familiarity.

Soon as we got there his niece, Hailey, pulls me away and we start to talk. She is a beautiful, talented, young lady. She is fifteen and I already felt welcome as we get excited about all the stuff we have in common. Looking at super hot guy celebrities while discussing stuff we enjoy doing. For the first time I got to meet his Aunt Ellen. She was amazing! eventually we all went to bed because it was getting late and I knew we all would be doing awesome adventures the next day. Neither Jacob nor I could sleep, so we ended up talking and laughing at stuff. Out of no where I felt something at the end of the bed. I freaked out because I wasn't sure what it was. I turn on the light to find out his sleepy seven year old niece had woke up. She wanted to go back to her house which was across the street. Jacob and I walked Maya to her house. In my head I'm

like, "So, this is what I
t is like to have a kid."

The very next day, Hailey, Jacob, and I drove up to Brandson Missouri. Which was just a few miles away from Glena Missouri. All the cars and people made me nervous driving. But hey, First time in enormous city. Helicopters constantly flying ahead, traffic lines for miles, park attractions on both sides, people laughing, screaming, and having good time. All of it was an experience worth having.

The first stop was the Ripley's Believe it or not museum. Everything was so stunning I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Once we found out about this two way mirror we laughed our asses off at ourselves for making faces and others for making faces. You wouldn't know this until you got part way through the museum. What really got us was this spinning tunnel that made us stumble to get to the other side, but us being silly we went through it several times. Finally, we got to the shop they had. Jacob being a butthole he gave me a taser gun and I tasered myself. They ended up laughing as I gave Jacob a glare.

Next, stop was the Ejection Seat! Hailey and I went on it with our breath taken away. At the end of it we got to see how stupid we looked and sounded. I couldn't help but to feel a bit embarrassed. Thirdly, we went to this Go Cart thing and raced each other. That was a bit difficult because I couldn't reach the steering wheel unless I was way up on the seat. That hurt my arms. After that we went and got some ice cream! :)

To cool off the day we headed back to his Ellen's house to put our swimsuits on. We went down the road to the river. Canoed a bit and swam until we felt extremely tired. At this point Jacob's side was really hurting him. We got back to his Aunt's house we ate dinner and set up the tent stuff. The beauty of sleeping under the stars. So gorgeous! Everything felt magical and mysterious.

Sunday I woke up to realize that his Aunt's house is on a cliff which you can see the river below. We headed down in boats to the river that day. The family gathered on a bank on the river. The water was so high we can see the water was engulfing the sign and most of the road. We all took turns tubing, which was most fun thing ever. His niece Maya kept following Jacob and me around. She would hold my hand and ask a millions of questions. I was on one of Jacobs leg and Maya was on the other she ask a question about kissing. Oh gosh! I'm like, "Jacob, this is for you to answer!" Gawd little ones are so cute and I know I would be totally lost if I had my own at first.

Eventually Jacob and I had to leave, but not without all of them feeling sad we were leaving. oh, Jacob's a butthole when it comes to tubing with me because he loves to tip it over and make us land in the water. We all had life jackets on for safety! Figure, let everyone know so they don't freak out. I would love to move there to Glena Missouri and live with nature along with going to the city to have other funs.

 

Heart Throbbing!

Mine and Jacobs relationship is different. It's hard to explain. Ever been so physically and emotionally attached to one person is as if they are you in a way. What is kind of funny We had several people tell us that Jacob and I look like brother and sister....We both have light brown hair and green color eyes. We also wrestle around and goof off like brothers and sisters I suppose. He is the main person I can trust with my life, with anything. I know he come home to me and give me hug and kiss.

Sometimes seeing others who have been in rocky relationships kind of scares me. Perhaps in my previous relationships they always ended badly, but this one is stronger than ever. If we have a problem we talk about it. If one of us is hurt or upset we try to sooth that by trying to put a smile on each others faces. It's so cute when he cuddles up to me when he falls asleep. His chiseled arm slumped over me while his light snores blow into my ear. I feel safe and secure being near him in any way. I feel as if he is my guardian angel here to protect me from everything.

I use to dream, yes literally dream of this guy always saving me from something. Weather it be from my own emotions or dangers that put my life at risk. Well, I think those dreams may of came true to an extent. I never got to see the guys face, but always felt happy and safe. I'm one lucky girl! Jacob puts up with my crazy ass. I hardly have those harsh put downs like I use to. I'm more confident in anything I do or say.

Sorry if this is so short. I had the urge to write this as well as wanting to distract myself from watching a scary movie....I don't like them much anymore. I rather not have more nightmares. I know that sounds stupid, but for me they can be very real.

 

Living It up!

I did it!! :) Thursday was my two weeks working at Butterball. There was several people who doubted me and stated, "It's a very difficult job". well duh! Any job can be hard, but you have to live with the fact a job is a job. If you want money and other things in life you need to work for it. Working there isn't that bad, to be honest. I've made a whole bunch of friends and also closer relationship with friends already. Also the fact in working with Jacob is AWESOME! The other day he came up behind me as I was putting stuff in my car, and kisses me. He told me, "now I have kissed you in the rain." There is also these Islanders who are always hitting on me....I'm just glad Jacob didn't see it because he would of gotten into a fight with them. Like This guy who Jacob works with told him my butt looks great....wrong thing to say. Jacob took the knight to his throat and said, "You, said what? That is mine, so stay away" It's cute when Jacob gets jealous.

Now we are looking to buy a house. I went to a real estate woman and my bank to talk to them about buying a house. For a hundred thousand dollar home we be paying around seventy seven dollars a month, but Jacob and I would be looking for a 19,000 or 80,000 dollar home. Both of us have applied for a credit card so we can have good credit. I'm finally getting a lap top. Hell yea! Now once I mentioned how much Big Brother makes we may end up moving to Pittsburg or Parsons Kansas to work with Big Brother. But that would be once we have plenty of money saved. I know the houses in Pittsburg are a bit more expensive. I know I have to be patient in buying a home. It's difficult because I'm very impatient with this stuff.

Fourth of July was amazing! The magic of the pretty colors light up the sky as I cuddle up next to Jacob. I wanted to make a memory of Jacob and I. Something that mean more than a previous relationship I was in, but this means so much more. His family is always crazy and fun to hang out with. We played volley ball, went swimming, they played Frisbee, and we all talked. Good thing is a lot of the young adults there are the people who Jacob and I grew up with. Angy Jefferies comes up to me and says, "Sorry if my mom takes your bf" I know she was trying to start shit. Everyone else was on my side and defended Jacob and I. In my head I'm like, "Ha, Bitch! Ha!" She did date a lot of Jacob's family...including her crazy ass sister who dated him. Which I despise, but oh well.

For all who are Doctor who fans...Go see the new Terminator movie. The 11th doctor is in it!! :) That was a badass movie! Big Brother, Mikayla, and I all watch it last night. Once we got home Big Brother was telling us stories of dad. They were funny! It's been a while sense we all hung out together! It felt nice! Next weekend hoping that I don't work Saturday GIRLS DAY! We are gonna go see Magic Mike 2 and go eat at Cici's! Perhaps go to the mall! Need a girls night!

Life is looking up for me right now. It feels great to be in control of my life and get my goals done! Can't wait to see what the future brings me! Hopefully Jacob puts a ring on it lol in two months it will be a whole year! I've never been so connected and in love with one person.

Rephaim vs Benedict Cumberbatch

The thought occurred to me late last night as I was trying to fall asleep. I look upon Jacob as a mixture of a Raven Mocker, Rephaim, and Sherlock Holmes, Benedict Cumberbatch. Black wings that cast a shadow beyond the stars. They can turn into fierce, sharp, blades ready to slaughter anyone who harms the ones he loves. But at the same time the wings act as a soft, penetrable shield which upon his Beloved can cuddle up next to. The light brown curls sway down in his blue eyes with a hint of grey tint. A personality vibrating brilliance and a savage way to take down enemies who stand a threat against his kin.

Many times Jacob has put himself in the line of fire to protect me or has threatens others if they hurt me...well very cruel words were said. In a way Jacob and Big Brother have same compassion to protect me beyond all faults. My older sister, Stephanie, told me once that my brother adored me and has me as his favorite. Now looking back I see I really am the favorite without realizing it. When I see Jacob and Big Brother talk about video games, Greek Gods, and Mythology I just smile from one ear to the other. 

The compound bow in hand ready to fire at will. My accuracy is dead along with how fast I draw the bow. One point of my life I was in Archery club but once my appendix busted that left me out of the game for a while. Before I even knew it the season was over. When I have plenty of money I will go buy myself a compound bow with arrows.

Money Whispers

For a while it will be stressful for both Jacob and I. Today I received a billing statement saying if I don't contact them in 30 days I would have to pay the full amount of 1200 something and I would be brought to court. Jacob found it absurd for them to take me to court. I only work part time, get paid every two weeks, and I make a 8.75 and hour. I don't make nearly enough to pay everything. I finally got the other doctor bill paid off. Finally, to say I have to pay insurance, phone bill, get my tags, get inspection on car, and whatever on sales taxes. To say I haven't even moved out yet and adult life has hit me hard. Thanks to Jacob though he has helped pay for many things.

Jacob and I was at Sonic talking about my bills. My frustration and red face was all needed for Jacob to kiss me while giving me a long hug. I was at breaking point, but with his embrace and millions of tiny kisses it eased all my worries. We ordered our food wishing our great buddy Draco would serve us. Oh well!

I feel this all will be a set back on moving out. I know I don't want to push the issue on Jacob, but just talk things out to see what best fits or what we come up with. Just ideas in general would be nice. I haven't got the courage to fully ask him yet. When I mentioned it to him earlier today he would be worried about moving out. I wouldn't blame him with my situation and our friends' situation.

Now for some positive side to things! Yesterday, was Jacob and mines ninth month together! It's almost a whole year being with an amazing best friend I love so dearly. He truly has helped in any way possible. Weather it be not wanting to see me cry or the simple fact of brightening my day. I don't know what I would do if he wasn't in my life....yes he can be a pain in my ass sometimes, but I love him so much. When my mom gives me those "Your not worthy" speeches Jacob is there to comfort me. When some punk ass kid decides to punch me in the face Jacob...well saying it nicely is wanting kid to disappear for doing such a thing to me. Its adorable and love how he gets even flustered over the thought of a guy approaching me wanting to flirt.

Saturday night was the most amazing night of my life! Jacob and I spent the night at a motel with an amazing swimming pool and Jacuzzi. Our Sweet was amazing! King size bed, flat screen tv, a couch, desk, table, two night stands, fancy bathroom, and free wifi with amazing HBO channel! After swimming I ended up falling asleep. Jacob laying next to me decides to poke my nose to wake me up....I swear he can be a pain sometimes lol TWICE he wakes me up. The little turd :) anime all night sounds good to me. Sleeping next to the goober had me feel safe and warm. To be honest I prefer if he could sleep by me every night, for the fact if I have nightmare he can make them go away some how. Also it's easier for me to fall sleep with him.

That night had me in the clouds, but now I must bring back reality. Time for me to go to bed because this day has given me a tiresome headache.
 

GOAL 1 ACCOMPLISHED!

well I met my goal very nicely :) I succeeded in getting my car! its 1999 maroon ford contour. everything works besides the driver side window that gets stuck and I need to fix gas gauge, but other than that it's a beauty. The other night, Jacob, Clayton (Jacob's cousin) and I all went to Joplin to go see spy. GAWD! I highly recommend going to go see that hilarious movie! Jacob is officially my GPS when going to places, especially at night because its more difficult for me to see at night. My car is also not a gas guzzler.

Monday I plan on putting my application in at Butterball. I already have my foot in the door because Jacob has talked to his supervisors and employees there about me. It starts at 11 something, which is awesome! After 60 days I get a pay raise and full dental, health, and vision. Once full time comes about I have decided to look for places to stay. Jacob and I have talked about it....he is a bit scared to be on his own, but we are ready to move out of our parents house. We are ready to start our lives together. This weekend we are watching over Jacob's brother's house. EAK! I'm excited!

I would tell you about the whole driving devils road three times, but that's for me to keep as my own sweet memory with the thrill of spookiness. Eventually after all my adventures and I settle down at my own place I will sit down and write it all down. For now I will give you a frustrating cliff hanger, like off of The Flash.

 P.S The Flash, A.K.A Grant Gustin....hehehe ;) one of these days I will meet you and Christian Bale!

2015 Graduation Twist!

Class of 2015 in lines of blue from A-Z with some girls wearing ridicules shoes. I'm chatting away with my computer geek Loyde and country boy Trever about cars and how excited we are to finally graduate. As I make my way forward, the crowds' cheers and many flashes had me feel excited and proud. I can see my parents, my older sisters, younger sister, and Aunt Cookie up in the risers waving and smiling with glee. My nerves were on over drive of happiness. This will be the day to remember. Each row inching their way closer to grabbing their diplomas. Finally came my row, which was third to last. I searched for my Beloved knowing he probably got lost in the crowd. I knew he had to be late because of work. Once my name was called over the microphone everything faded into a fog of slow motion. My friends and family there yelling at the top of their lungs for me.

"Don't cry. Don't cry. You got this. Don't cry," I repeated in my head.


The blue caps were thrown in the air while my family made there way down the stairs. Many warm hugs were given to me that night. I ended up crying anyways but what it was all worth I say let the rain fall! I finally reunited with my older brother Zackery who I haven't seen since I moved to Carthage when I was eight years old. Jacob in his oh delicious tux...shhh its our little secret that I find him so Handsome and Hot in his tux....which he also looks badass with the crossbone necklace tucked into his tie. Not to mention the fluctuous curls batting his hazel eyes with a hint of grey.

We all ended up gathering at my sister's home for cake and ice cream. Finding out Zackery is a part time truck driver, very good with that computer stuff, and ran his own t-shirt business. When I got home his card that he gave me smelled like Romance and The Stone. That place fits him very well of how he dressed and looked. Speaking of graduation gifts, all money I received is going toward my car! well since I'm a official DRIVER! lol one of these days I will learn how to drive a stick shift...one of these days.

All the busy stuff out of the way I have been relaxing a while. Sleeping in until noon sounds nice for a change, but not for long. I know this weekend I'm working morning shifts...woooo...not, but hey its money going towards a car and soon to be apartment. Fuck living at home! Sure I would miss little sis even when she is being a total bitch at times and my dad I would miss greatly. welp not sure what to say about my step mom. That will be a story another day. Jacob is helping me with all of this and...moving in together :) eventually. First step a car. Then apartment. Also I plan on getting better job of better pay, health, dental, and vision. Finally I will find out what is so wrong with my back and get pain medicine for it, and also be able to get braces.

Now....for the nightmares part....They have become so a lucid. I feel as if they tell me stories. Space ships and flying cars. Yes, Yes, movies right? no, you are all very wrong. I would try and describe it to you but no fucking way am I actually able to unless they have invented technology that can go back into my dreams and let others watch on screen tv. Creepy alien creatures, in human disguise. Some how my older brother and his wife had a baby with several heads. very creepy. I went crazy hoping I wouldn't become brain washed as those of my friends and family who got stuck at that place. There were several nightmares of future places with and with out Jacob. The money almost purl
like but not and paper money with no pictures on it. It all glowed this blue color. Also it frightens me of knowing the fear of never seeing Jacob again. Many things become valuable on the brink of loosing it all. Not to mention this weird time lapse thing. I may of been in a world for months or days but back home perhaps an hour or two. I know some may not understand...even my dream self told me that. What has all been happening lately...I'm not going to be surprise if something mysterious or major happens to any of us. Just kind of a for warning all of you.

The Simplicity of Life

Well I'm suppose to do Agar Science project, but I can't print it off in the class room that we cook in. I can't use the other teacher's paper....ugh. I hate my nightmares to be honest. I suppose every does, huh? Sleepless nights come and go, which causes me to actually fall asleep in class. Good thing it's senior year because I already took all my recommended and core classes.  Those few times I ended up falling asleep in Jacob's arms even bad dreams could be vanished in the matter of seconds. 

 The other day I went over to Jacob's house; his best friend, his cousin, and Jacob all decided to headbutt each others heads.....gawd, could I not stop smiling at how ridiculous they were all being but they were my family at heart. I can't wait to get my own house! Us girls in the bedroom gossiping and laughing while the boys be in the front room yelling at each other because of video games. I could actually have friends over without a hassle or have them come over just in general. I wouldn't have to put up with Mother's rude comments or bitchiness. Sure I would have bills to pay and having to buy groceries, but with the help of Jacob and friends we can do this. I trust in them to help out financially and fundamentally. 

Right now I'm slowly paying off medical bills, but thank god to being under my Father's insurance. It paid for most of the cost expenses. Once Jacob puts a ring on it *Smiles and blushes uncontrollably* I would be on his insurance. He mentioned it yesterday to me and I just hugged him while burying my face in his chest. I really don't mean to talk all the time about Jacob but he is just my happy pill that relaxes me on those stressful days. 

I realize I'm just lazy most of the time. Putting on makeup to really trying to understand math is pretty much laziness. I'm understanding math to a certain point, but then I'm lost when nothing is explained to me. Having to work sometimes does get in the way, but right now needing money is more important. To also do my taxes costs a big sum of cash....hopefully he will give me a break because I don't have joint taxes and I work part time. Braums is probably the best restaurant place to work at in Carthage. I love my managers...including the one who got promoted to a higher rank and had to transfer. That sadden all of us. working with the girls or having Brad come back was awesome! Sometimes it can be stressful but in all it's a nice place to work at. In March it would be a year of working at Braums.

I have been writing more in my dairy lately too...back to the good old expressing myself that way. I have a few stories I have written, so I will post them. Probably not this week because it consist of work and doing my taxes....OH YAY! *Major Sarcasm*Probably sometimes next week I will post one of them or both. 

Bliss

Bliss

Where do I start....I guess you could say my life is like a crazy, romantic story. It's so hard to write simple stories because it doesn't seep out on paper, but I live it every day. The blushing smile in the middle of a boring class or the constant insults from my step-mother is a typical day for me. So much has happen to me drastically over this past year. In the end I know I have family who cares for me dearly; that includes my Boo, Jacob Farmer.
 

Jacob has been there from the very beginning, even on my worse days. Because of him I have learned to love myself more and trust again. That moment he kissed me with such a funny and sweet personality was when I fell in love with him. Jacob always says, "If someone hurts you all hell will break loose." I slowly opened myself to him, but him, he was willing to tell me practically anything. I wasn't use to any of that. This was all new to me and still is new. Such romantic verses told to me in such ways it had me in tears. Someone actually cares for me of who I am and all my imperfections.
 
Not to long ago extreme abdomen pain consumed me. Nothing was curing such a horrible problem. Soon a trip to the hospital was needed as dad drove me to Carthage local hospital. Several times I passed out because I couldn't tolerate the pain. The doctor came in after the cats scan to announce my appendix is severally inflamed. Unfamiliar faces surround me in lifting me into a ambulance. Fear burned itself into my cool flesh. My eyes were stuck closed but waking up sore, scared, and in pain had everyone concerned.
 
That night a tall, toned, man with dirty blonde curls and blue eyes walks into my room. It hurt to speak, but seeing Jacob gave me comfort and peace at mind. The nurse came in saying I need to walk around so I can get better. I take Jacob's arm in both of my hands for balance. Walking to the end of the hall, my breathe was shallow and my legs felt they would fall off. Getting back in bed tears fell onto my flushed checks.
 
With a rough thumb Jacob wipe them away saying in a shaky voice, "I love you so much and was so afraid of loosing you."
 
With those words in my foggy mind sleep prevailed. All in all Jacob is an amazing boyfriend who doesn't like to see me cry. He will do everything and anything to make me laugh and smile. Sure we have our fights and agreements, but in the end we love each other and that's all that matters. Jacob gave me a little quote that states, "Best Relationship: talk like best friends, play like children, argue like husband and wife, protect each other like brother and sister." That is so true for us because I remember the time we goofed off in Wal-Mart and played caught with the balls.
 
I believe Jacob is a keeper. I can honestly say I'm happy and blessed to have him in my life. I wouldn't mind getting married and having kids with him. Kids defiantly in future though, not now. Even when I thought about going to college, I thought about find that perfect person who would love me how Jacob does. Perhaps that was always my ultimate goal in life besides college, was to find my love and have a family. Even as a child I dreamed of those things happening to me.
 
Jacob isn't my only happy place in the world, but also my family. Saturday when I went to go see Blackcat at the movies with Big Brother, Dad, and Little Sis had me smiling uncontrollably. Sis over there saying Jacob is an alien...*rolls eyes* during a make out scene Dad and Brother teasing me not to look. The funny conversations or the theories we come up with are so interesting to listen to.
 

The time I slept over at my older sister's house. My niece and little nephew making me laugh as "zombies" we had to run from. The deep conversations I have with them that always has support behind me. Even my other older sister has welcoming warming arms willing to help me out when I need to. My loving Aunt who doesn't mind staying up late when I feel really down and want to talk. My older sister who lives in Arkansas also plays a big role in my life as she and I share similar feelings and situations. Plus she understands how important Jacob is to me.
 
I can't forget my friends. Sometimes they can be a pain in my ass but at the end of the day they are there for me. How my friend Micheal decides to put a penis hat on in Spencers had me falling over in laughter. Or girl nights with my best friends Jayme and Madisson where we talk on and on. During school my group of unique friends who have the weirdest conversations that even has me questioning things. I love them all and they love me.

Chapter 2 of The Unknown

Chapter 2

    My heart throbs harshly as Voids near us closer. One of the Void’s stopped in front of me, their hard metallic finger under my chin, and the Void forces me to look into the black glass, we call eyes. I jerked back feeling the urge to club the Void with a bat.

    “If it wasn’t for Miss. Hawnkin, you all would be dead,” the Void remotely spits out.

    “What is that suppose to mean?” Lupin shouts to the Void that just touched me.

    “Shut up inferior species!”

    Lupin groans when I elbow him in the side. Our eyes met for a moment of anger and protectiveness. The Voids froze in their perfect positions. Just as the silence fell over the room the Voids hurried out the front door. Breaths huffed out once the door clicked shut. A large explosion shook the house.

I stood up saying, “We need to leave this place now.”

“For once I agree with you.” Callime replies

Joseph, Lupin, Camille, and I all made eye contact before rushing to our rooms to gather our stuff. What the Void still lingers in my head of why he would say that. I tossed that thought aside to come up with a plan to escape Carthage Missouri. A map of Carthage in hand while I run back into the kitchen.

A big, blue duffel bag bulges as it is being filled with cans of food and non-perishable items. I Smoothed the wrinkles map onto the counter. My hands fumble with opening of the red marker’s cap off. Soon everyone else stands beside me quizzically.

“We need to go undetected from the Voids. The crumbling sewage systems are no longer in use.” I continue saying while marking the path on the map, “We will use the sewages to move quickly and quietly out of this town.”

“Brilliant idea, Sister.”

“Lets hurry up and get out of here.” Camille desperately said.

“We can head to my ancestors reservation as a safety house. Which isn’t too far from our existing point.” Lupin states

We nod at each other.  

“We should wait until the sun goes down. That way the dark will cover us better when we are on the move.” Joseph piped in

**********************************************************************************

The small living room light only came by a flickering flame curdling in the fireplace. It came time to finally make risky steps to our freedom. I grabbed a cup of ice water that was left over from Joseph and poured the rest in the fireplace. The sizzle of the flame going out gave off a weird silence.

Joseph lead us through our squeaky back door with a flashlight in his  right hand. Each of us hunched over so not to be seen by neighbors as we  sneak our way in a beat up drainage pipe about 20 yards behind my house. Camille clenches the back of Joseph’s navy blue sweat shirt.

“This place reeks of death and people’s shit. I think I’m gonna vomit.”

Camille gaged on.

“This is the best way we can get out of the city without being seen by the Void’s so breathe out of your mouth and think of the amazing freedom we will have once we get to Lupin’s reservation.” I pat out.

“ugh! Fine!” Camille grunted.

We trailed down a narrow musky tunnel full of scavenging rodents. Camille sure was right because the aruma was overbearing to the point of wanting to actually puke your guts up. Camille and Joseph trudged in front of Lupin and I who made sure we didn’t slip in the gross sludge.

The wiz of a Void’s patrol cruiser above us stopped us in our tracks. Voices hummed through the tunnels. The lining in these tunnels must be thin, for I know no one has use these sewages for many years. Foot steps thudded louder as it got closer. Soon the ruckus stops; leaving us standing still.

After several turns we made it to the end of the disgusting sewages. The night breeze tingled my skin. Glancing back I could see the victorian homes with a slight glow of the candles and fireplaces illuminating the rooms. The United States is advanced in technology, but for us poor people who normally bunch several families in one house have barely enough of anything to get by. The Black cruisers go down each street slowly watching for any signs of betrayal to the almighty Septimus. I may of not ever seen the cruel bastard, but soon as I do he will pay for all the pain he has caused on us all.

Ahead lay creepy woods ready to engulf any hope with it. The tall trees with a bushy top blanketed the stars and moon out. nocturnal animals screeched their sounds to each other. Foot steps eventually became distinct as time went by. Lupin and I lead the group to our destination.

A dirt road opened up to primrose trees on either side.The flowers cocoon themselves with their rich pink color. At the end of the road stood  a enormous log house. Next to the house was a black barn .

“Here we are guys. My reservation.” Lupin said

“I wasn’t expecting it to be so big.” Camille said in awe.

We advanced to the narrow door cautiously. The anticipation was eating away at me. The comfort of finally getting away from the Void’s was going to explode. Lupin turned the silver door knob; slowly opening the door. A woman with wavy extremely long blonde hair and ocean blue eyes sat on a maroon couch which took up most of the living room. Curtains, two other recliners, and the walls match the couch with the mixer of reds.

Lupin’s eyes went wide of shock. The Woman elegance swiftly went over to Lupin’s side. Her long fingers stroked Lupin’s cheek gently. A prick of jealousy wanted to punch this chick in the face for even thinking about touching Lupin.

Just when Joseph and Camille caught up to us at the door steps I ask rudely, “Who the hell do you think you are touching Lupin?”

“I’m Lupin’s aunt, Aunt Cindy.” She announces to everyone in a strong tone. She continues, “I was expecting you guys to come here searching for security and freedom.”

“How would you know when-” I tried asking, but cut off by Lupin.

“Aunt Cindy was a psychic who died less than a year ago! How the fuck did you stay alive?!”

“Calm down Lupin. We will discuss all of this tomorrow, but for right now all of you should go get some rest. Tomorrow is a very busy day.” Cindy demanded

Lupin was about to protest, but Cindy put one finger up and shook her head no. Cindy is surely being a bitch who is treating Lupin like a child. My glitter a glare at Cindy making sure I don’t trust her. Cindy’s smile twists at the edges of her mouth as Lupin was dragging me down a dark hallway and up stairs. Joseph and Camille waked behind us awkwardly and not sure what they thought of the situation that just happened.

“Joseph, Camille, and Isabella, you guys can each have your own room. I will be sleeping downstairs.”

“Fine with me. I’m beat. Night guys.” Camille chimed in turning left and shutting the door behind her.

“Thank you Lupin, I owe you a lot man.” Joseph said turning right.

“So you decided to sleep downstairs with that bitch. I don’t like her and frankly I don't see myself cooperating with her.”

“I need answers to why she left me thinking she died. I don’t have parents and she was the only person I really got close to besides you guys.”

I started to walk away, “Whatever Lupin.”

Lupin grabs my arm and pulls me to him, “Trust me, Isabella, please.I hate her just as much as you do right now.”

Jerking my arm back and slamming the door on Lupin. I have a nasty temper, but lately it has intensified by a lot. The room held a baby blue taste to it. The ceiling and walls were painted like I was outside. The covers to the queen sized bed were a cute light blue color. Stripping down to my panties and long short sleeve shirt. I snuggled in the slightly cold bed, but once my body heat warmed up the bed quickly.

**************************************************************************************

The darkness seeps into my pores. nesea settled in my stomach. A lump in the back of my throat burned. Cries choked out of my chapped lips. Two Voids have my parents on their knees with their hands tied behind their back. I stand in the door frame peaking through the crack. The white finger pulls the trigger back on a laser gun. Blood splatters everywhere. My dad falls on the ground heavily while my mom seems to be yelling at me. The words don’t reach me. My mom takes the same fate as my dad, but her last words I love you swirls in my head.

A hand grabbed mine, prying me away from my parent's death. I glanced to see Lupin moving me toward a city full of flying cars, big tall buildings, and surrounding the city is a large trench filled with blackish orange water. We stopped in the middle of a large empty bridge with no traffic keeping us away from the city.

“You lost your parents to Septimus’s robots….you're about to lose me to aren’t ya?”

“Lupin, stop fucking talking like that!” I screamed at him wiping tears from my cheeks.

Lupin turns his head at me. His laughter cracked the air. Lupin was crushing my hand with his. Then one strain at a time from the tip of his other fingers, turned into grey ashes flowing into the trench.  I tried regaining his grip of his hand, but nothing was left except the  image of his brown irises twinkling with tears.

“Isabella!”

“Lupin, where are you!”

“Isabella!”

I gasp for air gripping on the blanket so hard my fingers were cramping. Sobs rattled my rib cage. A gentle hand was put on my sweaty back. Looking up to see Lupin in his dark blue silk pajamas. His brown eyes searching for me to be okay.

“Your okay. another bad dream?”

I nodded while a sensation of shaking started to take over my body. Lupin must not leave me. Fear of losing him had me so shooken up. I already lost my parents to that monster.

“Please, stay here!” I say in desperation

I pull on his sleeve to gesture him to lay next to me. Lupin curled up next to me pulling him against his chest. The tears dampened Lupin’s shirt a bit as I started to bawl into it. Having him so near fills me with relief that I didn’t lose him. Sleep prevailed again while It took me back under.

Just so you guys know these two chapters I gave to you are just rough drafts :) hope you enjoy.